Friday, March 27, 2009

Son Of A... Female Dog

Yes, it's son of a bitch, and that son of the bitch is in my house. And I am seeing that son of a bitch everyday and that son of the bitch will follow me wherever I go. I tried to push him away but that son of a bitch just kept coming.


Yeap, that’s the son of a bitch female dog.

I remember the first time I saw him, he was like a big big hair ball with legs, running around in his cage. When we brought him back to our home, we were thinking what to name the fella. Then I suggested Nike, since the hair and the colour reminds me of the deceased Nike back in Ipoh. Everyone agreed, and hey, another pet of ours is branded.


When we got him back, he was in this small cage, but it's big enough for him, but you know, enough is never enough.

"I shall destroy you, cage!" *nom nom nom*

Of course, I'm not cold-blooded, I let him out sometimes. But the fella was still new to the place, so he'll be running around, discover the place a little bit. And then I thought "hey, it'll be fun if we put him high places".

After we did, he gave us this innocent face. Then we were like, awww, don't so bad la, put him down la...

As time goes by, Nike slowly discovers his ability, an ability that would benefits him at times, the ability of 'The Innocent Face'.
And as time goes by, we also discovered that he had already discovered his ability.
Someday in a year later, there was a thunder storm, and we had to go somewhere I don't remember, we allow Nike to stay in the house while we are out. After we came back, we saw shoes and slippers all over the floor. And Nike was in the middle of it, he was like

Not so innocent anymore.
But Nike had also brought us a lot of joy.

Sometimes, we can really feel the connection with Nike, he's like part of the family, he will always be there for you.

Lately, my mother don't know why, she is being fuc...freaking paranoid. First, she say she doesn't like dirty floor, which sounds reasonable. But one, ONE tiny little footprint on the floor, she can bloody spot it and starts complaining and mops the entire floor. I don't know whether is only my mother or all the mothers are like that, but it's killing me. Secondly, she just cannot accept the fact that the owner of the dog bath the dog because she thinks she's like the servant to the dog. WTF man, you're just bath your dog to make sure it's clean only la, you're not 'serving' it.
And ultimately, she says she hates it when the dog looks at her. omg, I don't even know what to say about this, it's just simply doesn't makes any sense. She says when Nike looks at her, she feels that she is being treaten. Ok? A dog looked at you, so what? Treaten of what? Even IF a dog is 'treatening' you, SO WHAT? It's just a fucking dog!!

After a week of complaining these crap, she says she's gonna sell him away, and yea, three years after born. Everytime I argue with her, she'll say either "hey, I'm your mother you know" or "yes, I memang don't like it" which indirectly saying "yala, I don't like it la, cannot meh? What you gonna do?"

Now, everytime she complains, I just turn and start walking away, because I know she'll say the same thing again, no point argueing. Few days ago, she said she's gonna sell him back to the person whom we brought from. And again, there's no way I can stop her because ''she is my mother''.

I can't believe I'm gonna say goodbye to him soon. I don't even know what I'm gonna do, everyday come home from school, I don't see him anymore. When I want to sayang the fella, he's not there. No one is gonna share junk food with me anymore.

I hope that there's a way to let him know that
he will always be a part of the
We're just 1 big family.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Code Red : Economic Crisis

All of you should know that currently the whole world's economy is suffering a slowdown which duh, affects everybody. I assume that quite a lot of people are having financial problems, which means no more iPhones, no more shopping sprees, no more going to expensive places with girlfriends, no more 鸡饭加鸡 , it's a nightmare to all of mankind.

Having trouble with your savings? We know. Having trouble with your child's education? We know. Having trouble with ordering 鸡饭加鸡? WE KNOW.
And that's why we are here today to ask you say goodbye to all these problems. We are the perfect guys you should talk to!

Ah.... Fai, a name that can be trusted.


Stop borrowing money from the ah longs! High interest rate, violent way of getting money back, involved in lots of illegal activities, ugly looking and so much more...


Let Fai help you, with his healing hands and his lovely smile. Interest rate and the way of getting the money back will discuss later when Fai meets you. Don't worry, there are no weapons behind Fai's hands.
One of the biggest company's boss' wife's mother's husband's grandson, is Jun Yong currently doing very well after letting Fai help him by loaning him some money with low interest rate. Therefore, there is nothing to worry about, we are guaranteed safe by a lot of our clients.

We know your financial needs because
We're just 1 big family.


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

CURSE YOU TIM KRING!!


All of you should know the famous tv show 'Heroes'. The show is full of suspense especially at the end of each episode. Episode after episode and I just can't stop watching, not to say waste but spent bloody lot of time just to see what will happen to Hiro Nakamura. And one thing led to another, the next thing I knew, I skipped 2 tuition classes.
And I shall put all the blame on Tim Kring!

Call me jakun but I'll rate this show 9/10. My favorite character is Hiro Nakamura and his trademark slogan "YATTA!".
And that admiration led to...



Powerz
I haz it.

I believe this hell-spawn tv show created by this hell-hell-spawn Tim Kring must have eaten your precious time but yet it's hard to say "tak nak". Yea I know, because
We're just 1 big family.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Hulk Smashed

5th of March... I have discovered a clue that will unlock a mystery... I slowly picked up all the missing pieces and put them together, and I found...

Hmm, ok...?

Then I thought, why not go take a look and see, since my room has a parquet flooring. Then I check every corner of my room and I got nothing.
And then suddenly, a cold breeze blew into my window and I felt cold. Naturally, I go to my closet and take one of my jacket. Because usually I don't wear a lot of jackets, so all my jackets are in the Malaysia-so-hot-not-need-to wear-jacket-one-la section, which I didn't open up for like a year.

After I open the closet, nothing, just dusty. And the moment I pull out the jacket...

Under the jacket was full of termites! I tell you, I never been so geli before. And it gets worse, I move my closet's position a bit and see, the termites has spread to the parquet floor. That means the whole floor of my room got infected according to the contractor.
The moment my brother knew about that, he ran into my room and said
"WHAT THE F**K!?"

"Grr... I'm getting angry!"

Hulk Smash!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
This can't be happening... My room, my precious room...
Damn it, now I have no choice, but to reveal my secret identity and what I do on Disney Playhouse Channel.

I, Bob the Builder, at your service.

5 days later, I'm done. After all the hardship, I'm finally done. And this, is the my new room.

Yea baby...

Nah, I won't miss the old parquet floor, because it sucks and the new one rocks. Plus nicer looking.
Since today's topic there is nothing to family about, so I will just say it for no reason.
We're just 1 big family.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Lost In Transportation

Yea, most of you guys already know that I lost my phone(Damn you stupid taxi driver!!). My lovely darling phone, my Nokia 6151...no, i mean THE Nokia 6151. Sadly I don't even have the picture of her for her funeral, the only thing she left for me is just this.


Most poeple would just cheer me up with the Chinese say that goes "old ones don't go, new ones don't come". And I got a lot of that.

I spent my moments of sorrow at her funeral that weekend... and NONE of my friends showed up.

"All by myyyyyyyysellffffffff......."

Then later that day I tried reading magazines, hoping to forget about her. And so I was reading some articles about sexy women and of course, with pictures. But they all look like

to me.
Nothing can get her off my mind until I saw...

...
...
...
"SIR YES SIR RIGHT AWAY SIR, SIR"

And so my brother and I rushed to Pudu Plaza at the speed of light and the skill of an old woman. Driver : Saya... punya abang.

I was terrified to my very soul.
Seriously.

After 30 minutes of look see of all the models they had, then I made my final choice. I call her by the name of Rosita, she's black, she's brand new, she's C902 and she's...AP

And yea, this phone is well known as 'The James Bond Phone'. Funny, I don't know until I bought her. Because when switched her on, there's another guy!!!


Not anymore!!


I swear to my parents and all the gods that I'll protect her with my life and also keep her satisfied, by using her of course, what else? I'll die before I let anything happen to her because
She's part of the 'We're just 1 big family' thingy already.
Stay away from my gal!